Monday, May 16, 2011

i just ate sushi last night

So sorry for my absense. I didn't have time in Rome(some excuse huh?) to get on the computer and the rest of the time i have been traveling and now i am sitting the living room of a house in the suburbs of atlanta. My clock is jacked up and i had sushi for the first time in eight months. Weird.

Anyways, for the past week its been go go go. I packed. I drove. I sat. I sat ten hours more. I ate enough pasta for a week( but hey, i'm not complaining) I unpacked, and i think i've pretty much sucked the life out of my computer. Its been a blur and i haven't been able to think, really. Today was the first time i thought about last week when i was taking malaria medicine and bargaining for food. Last week i was running past kids dealing with starvation and disease and this morning i ran past a lemonade stand. The one thing that has been on my mind through everything that has happened recently is how i'm going to answer when people ask me "So how was Uganda?" I'm just giving you a heads up....

I'm not looking forward to telling you.

Please plleeassseee do not ask me, "Do you need to wear gloves when your with the children so you don't get AIDS?" or really just, "So how was Uganda?" If you do i might just cry into your arms right then and there because honestly, i cannot answer how eight months of my life was in a sentence or a short amount of time for that matter. Lets just face it, some people will only want that and then move on to another topic. Even if you had all day to listen to me, i still probably wouldn't be able to explain it, and thats what really scares me.

It freaks me out to death that i won't be able to tell you how Uganda was or what it was really like. I won't be able to explain what the food was like or the oppression or the kids. It freaks me out that i won't be able to share the sadness and the joy that Uganda has shared with me. Because you can read the books, watch the sad inspiring movies, and listen to as many people talk about impoverished areas but you will never get to experience it until your face to face. And thats okay, most won't make it out of their own american suburb, but its on the other end where one has to deal with not only the hopelessness of losing their phone but also the hopelessness of losing a parent from a preventable disease. I can honestly say that i am scared of being on both ends. Dealing with the emotions eight thousand miles away and the emotions from, here. Having to talk about something that you know people will not understand is a hard concept to deal with and i'm scared of what will say when i answer that question.

But i'm just going to be selfish here and ask you, for your sake(promise), to bare with me if i freak out when you ask me how Uganda was or what it was like. I have no intention but i'm just giving you a warning. please pray for me and my transition here. it will definitely be a hard one.

love, Cassidy


1 comment:

  1. Cassidy, just read this and totally identify from this side. Praying for you as you walk this road...and might be lookng to you for some tips when I make the transition back. Love you!